Today I sat on a toilet in front of literally thousands of people. I know what you’re thinking- ‘sounds like a normal Saturday for you, Dan.’ First, you’re absolutely hilarious. Second- it wasn’t on my webcam like usual, it was on the floor at PAX East, where I’ve been slogging my bloody foot-stubs around for the past two days. I stepped across the astro turf to sit atop my porcelain throne, took the iPad in hand and dove right in to Fairway Solitaire Blast by Big Fish Games.
I wasn’t sure what to expect- how does one combine golf and solitaire? The answer: you don’t. I played through more than ten levels (and got the local network high score on ALL of them because I’m the greatest) during my time on the toilet, and not once did I play any golf. The game is Solitaire except the cards are arranged in odd patterns, with a linear overworld map that sort of looks like a golf course. It is a series of solitaire puzzles with a golf skin.
Luckily though, the game is pretty fun. Despite the false advertisement, it did suck me in for a full 25 or so minutes. There are bright, flashing lights and fun sounds going on the whole time, and they’ve got some very useful power-ups to employ along the way such as wild cards, board shuffles, and a crazed gopher scientist who shows up and blasts away cards with his lightning gun (no shit, that’s a real thing). Surprisingly enough, they seem to just shower you in power-ups and other cards that help you clear the board which is not usually the case in these free-to-play games. The end result is not to create a feeling of frustration as you must wait another 30 minutes to harvest your crops, but rather one of uninterrupted fun as you blast away those pesky cards and watch as your score grows.
The game is free-to-play and works on both Android and iOS, so honestly there’s nothing stopping you from getting it. It’s great for short bursts of entertainment when you’re waiting for the train or dropping a deuce in front of a convention hall full of people. Without having played through it to the end I can’t say for certain that further down the line they won’t start to nickel-and-dime you like you see in so many FTP games nowadays. However, from what I saw today Fairway Solitaire Blast seems to be bite-sized chunks of fun that you could come back to and play over and over again.