So Star Fox 3DS finally gets an American release date. Oh cool, Nintendo, a company in a country we were at war with 70 years ago. Release a plane game on a certain 10th anniversary. Way to take the high road, fellas. In all honesty I’ve easily beaten Star Fox more times than any other game I have ever played coming in probably around 3,000 times. That’s why I don’t need this. It adds literally nothing I care about. New features of a 14 year old game that I memorized the script to include an auto save feature for pussies,  the ability to wave the 3DS around to control the Arwing for assholes and the ability to replace the Star Fox crew’s photos with you and your friends’ photos for douchers. Overall, it’s coming out and maybe when the 3DS has a bigger library and it doesn’t cost me $40 for essentially a better looking rom, I’ll get aboard the train. Or I’ll just shoot all 8 switches to plow it into the depot so I can get the true ending. Oh snap. (“What’s wrong?! COME A LITTLE CLOSAH.”)